The Diary of long lost memories
by Sara101022
Summary: Rose/Doctor - short memory story. One shot. In memory of our beloved Rose.


The Doctor leaned against the TARDIS console, thinking about how Martha had left him for medical school. Yet another one of his companions, leaving him behind.

He felt his hearts pang as he thought about Rose. The one person that hadn't left him behind. His Rose.

She had been willing to give up her family for him. He felt his eyes watering as he remembered her words...

'I made my choice a long time ago; and I'm never going to leave you.'

He saw how determined and focused her expression was, and had merely nodded.

He tried in vain to swallow the forming lump in his throat, but to no avail. The TARDIS hummed softly, trying desperately to comfort him. He hadn't slept in a year. When he thought about this, it seemed incredibly stupid and idiotic, but he knew why he didn't want to enter the realm of dreams.

Because dreams feel real; almost too real. And when you feel yourself joyful with your fantasy, all of it gets stolen away from you as you get dragged back to reality, and are forced to understand that it is never going to happen.

He couldn't remember how many times he had fallen into a slumber, in which Rose's cheery face enlightened the seemingly black and white dream. She kept him running, and in return, he gave her a hand to hold.

He found himself walking down the long corridor, silence slicing at his ears. Only the distant hum of the control room could be heard. He touched the doorknob of the room that he had left alone for almost a year now. With a swift turn and a nudge, the door creaked open. He smelled her essence. It seemed so close that he actually turned around to see if she was there.

He ambled in, hands dug deep in his pockets. He didn't want to touch any of Rose's possessions. They where like holy ornaments. His eyes averted to the bed, and saw a petite book lying on the duvet cover.

Without thinking, he allowed himself to swoop up the book with a swift swing of his arm. He held it carefully, as if it was made of delicate china. The front cover of the well-fingered book held the title in familiar handwriting: 'My Adventures with the Doctor.'

He vigilantly opened the book, and saw small illustrations of Autons, and one or two of his old face. There was also a picture of him and Rose running; hand in hand.

He let his fingers smooth over the sketch, smiling softly. He then turned his gaze to the scribbled handwriting.

_'How can I explain the events of today? It was hectic! But it was worth it. Well, I guess I'll start with the beginning. At first, it was just an ordinary day, me running around London, doing my job and shopping and spending time with Mickey and such. I went down to the basement of the shop, and I got attacked by dummies. 'Autons' the Doctor referred to them as. Oh, I'll go into the Doctor later. So anyway, they where just about to kill me, when the Doctor appeared at my side, and yelled one word; "Run!"_

The Doctor grinned at this memory. Back then, he had a cheery smile that almost reached his once big ears.

He turned the page with an intense amount of concentration.

'_Yet more craziness today! The Doctor took me to the end of the world. Seriously. There where a few moments when I lost my trust in him, but I eventually felt at ease. If you meet the Doctor, you will understand what it's like. You feel like you can put your life in his hands after knowing him for the amount of 5 minutes. But I think that's what I like best about him._

_Watching the Earth fall to pieces was harder then I had ever thought it would have been. All of those years, all of those brilliant people, those amazing ideas… And what to show for it? Burnt rubble. As I watched it happen , I could barely believe that aliens threw __**parties **__whilst a planet burned to nothingness before their eye(s). The Doctor took my hand and led me away before I let my emotions take control, but I could still feel the pain inside of me.'_

He turned the page once again, smiling shakily.

_'I dealt with zombies today. To be honest, I thought that I would be in the midst of hysterics, but the Doctor kept my feet on the ground. He seems to be doing that a lot lately. Anyway, it wasn't what I would call a __pleasant __experience. But I lived through it. Oh, I've got to go; the Doctor's calling me for some tea. He's so generous at times. A little cheeky, but in a lovable way.'_

Flicking throughout the book, he found all sorts of memories that comforted him. The dainty sketches where enlightening. After the encounter of the impossible planet, the words faded away to nothing. Empty pages. Gone.

The Doctor tucked the book into his pocket, deciding to read it thoroughly later, when his mind wasn't in such a wreck. Having one last glance at the room, he slipped away, and locked the door.

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Well, I hope you liked it! Sorry it's so short… I just wanted to have a quick go of a Rose memory one-shot. Please review! –Puppy dog eyes-**


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